Have you heard the news? Of course you have. There’s a new Pope in town. You will recall that Old Pope died shortly after meeting J.D. Vance, no doubt to insult him one last time. On May 8th, a majority of Cardinals in Rome decided to screw the smokey-eyed über-convert once again, electing Bob Prevost – yes, that Bob Prevost – New Pope. When I wrote my last tome on this subject of ordo amoris, I very nearly included some Twitter commentary from the newly-minted Leo XIV.
The old tweets are gone, but they can never be forgotten. As surprising as an American Pope is, we are skeptical that this “Trump effect” thing has been as determinative of international politics as people think. Still, the Cardinals would surely have known what Bobby was about. One cannot help but wonder whether the cringeworthy idea of an Orange Pope pushed a majority of them to say “f-k it” and elevate another American to this arguably higher, more influential global position. Sure, the Holy See does not have any nukes (yet), but 2 billion is a lot more than the 77 million who voted for Chief MAGAt.
Even as the new Pope smell fades, we continue to laugh our asses off at butthurt rightwing Catholics, such as this dingbat. Over the past ten days things have settled a bit as these kooks look for hopeful signs, such as rumors of Leo’s detente with conservative bishops, rigorous social media investigations (see here and here and…), and fawning over his Floridian brother. Oh wait, never mind that. As this Vanity Fair piece explains, all indications are that Leo will continue to follow in Francis’ footsteps, regardless of whatever straws Copus Dei tries to grasp.
Last Sunday the Holy Father hinted at this continuity in his Inaugural Mass. His cosmopolitan message discouraged small-minded nativism in favor of unity and love, making sure to lift up Gaza and Ukraine (and of course, Cool Pope met Cool President that same day).
We should never fall into the trap of viewing Catholic leadership through a politically partisan lens (the Holy See isn’t the Supreme Court, people), but it’s safe to say the reactionary fever dream of rightwing Catholics will not come to pass.